Many summer camps across the nation have a new focus. They teach children to share equipment, to take leadership roles, and to feel the satisfaction of accomplishment after finishing a challenging obstacle course. Sound like camp as usual? At these camps, children participate in programs where all activities are geared to building their emotional IQ.
They “learn much about themselves, their own strengths and abilities. . . [They] build new life skills for themselves. Meeting these challenges brings true self-esteem, the kind that is earned, not empty words. Talking about self-esteem or trying to bolster it in kids does not work without real challenge in safe and supportive [activities],” wrote Posie Taylor.
However, parents don’t need specialized camp programs to raise children with healthy emotional intelligence. They can call up moms and organize their own day hike, water circus, or bicycle derby. By being part of the activity, they are there to encourage cooperation, taking turns, and helping others. They can use the conflicts that arise as teaching moments.
Child psychologists suggest that a child’s emotional health can greatly determine his academic achievement, success in a future career, the quality of future relationships, and their physical health. A child with a strong emotional intelligence will behave better, strengthen their family ties, and quarrel less with siblings.
Daniel Goleman, discussed a model in his book, Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, that focuses on competencies and skills. His model outlines four EI constructs.
Goleman’s first construct is self-awareness or emotional perception. This is the ability to read one’s emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions. Second, self-management, or using emotions, is the ability to control one’s emotions and impulses and adapt to changing circumstances. Third, social awareness, or understanding emotions, is the ability to sense, understand, and react to others’ emotions while comprehending social networks. Finally, relationship management, or managing emotions, is the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.
With these in mind, here are four specific ways to help your child improve their EI, supported by Nikki Giant, a freelance educator specializing in writing for schools and parents about bullying and emotional literacy.
Susan Dayley is the author of various books and blogs regularly at susandayley.wordpress.com
They “learn much about themselves, their own strengths and abilities. . . [They] build new life skills for themselves. Meeting these challenges brings true self-esteem, the kind that is earned, not empty words. Talking about self-esteem or trying to bolster it in kids does not work without real challenge in safe and supportive [activities],” wrote Posie Taylor.
However, parents don’t need specialized camp programs to raise children with healthy emotional intelligence. They can call up moms and organize their own day hike, water circus, or bicycle derby. By being part of the activity, they are there to encourage cooperation, taking turns, and helping others. They can use the conflicts that arise as teaching moments.
Child psychologists suggest that a child’s emotional health can greatly determine his academic achievement, success in a future career, the quality of future relationships, and their physical health. A child with a strong emotional intelligence will behave better, strengthen their family ties, and quarrel less with siblings.
Daniel Goleman, discussed a model in his book, Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, that focuses on competencies and skills. His model outlines four EI constructs.
Goleman’s first construct is self-awareness or emotional perception. This is the ability to read one’s emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions. Second, self-management, or using emotions, is the ability to control one’s emotions and impulses and adapt to changing circumstances. Third, social awareness, or understanding emotions, is the ability to sense, understand, and react to others’ emotions while comprehending social networks. Finally, relationship management, or managing emotions, is the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.
With these in mind, here are four specific ways to help your child improve their EI, supported by Nikki Giant, a freelance educator specializing in writing for schools and parents about bullying and emotional literacy.
- Improve emotional vocabulary to help children behave more calmly.
“Children who can verbally describe their feelings are better equipped to communicate their needs. Researchers at the University of Colorado found that children with a wider emotional vocabulary were more able . . . to develop social and emotional competence for later life. Encourage children to match photographs of people to feelings labels and model using emotional language to help build children’s awareness.”
As a suggestion, consider getting a poster like this one and covering the labels. Then make strips of paper for the child to place beneath each face. - Work and play together to resolve conflict.
“A characteristic of emotionally intelligent people is their ability to appropriately resolve conflict and communicate with others, building relationships with ease. Use board games or imaginative play to teach turn-taking skills, sharing and cooperation, rewarding appropriate behavior with a small prize or praise. Communicating expectations, rules and repercussions for breaking rules will establish boundaries that children can adhere to.” - Make a goal chart. A goal chart can help to keep children on track.
“Teaching children the skill of creating and meeting goals can lead to success with school work, on the sports field and with everyday behavior. Create a goal chart with objectives broken down into simple targets that children can reach. Encourage children to monitor their progress and explore ‘failures’ as learning opportunities to keep children engaged and help them succeed next time.” - Many children’s books address emotional themes.
“Take advantage of opportunities throughout the day for children to build empathy and discuss feelings, such as after an argument or tantrum. Many children’s books explore themes such as loss, loneliness, jealousy and joy, which can be used as a talking point about their own experiences and to develop empathy for others.”
One of my favorite books as a child was “Where the Red Fern Grows.” It helped me process my own grief over the loss of my dog.
Susan Dayley is the author of various books and blogs regularly at susandayley.wordpress.com
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